Perpetual Christmas Morning

Sunday morning, before the sun came up, I started the 9 hour drive (which ended up being about 7.5 plus stops… shhh) to Alex, Scott & Kyle’s house in Georgia. I was crashing there a) to visit, cause it had been a while since I'd seen my pseudo-nephew, and b) because they’re about 1.5 hours from Gainesville, and arriving after a night of actual sleep instead of post 9 hour drive seemed like a much better idea. I had a great time visiting with them, and realizing how close they will be now made me that much more excited about the move.

I don’t think it really hit me until I left their place Monday morning that I was finally actually going to grad school. As soon I got on 75, I blasted Gainesville Rock City by Less Than Jake on the iPod. That was about when feeling like Perpetual Christmas Morning started. (I'm not a very emotional person, but I come up with some awesome emotion analogies from time to time. This would be one of them.) I played some more LTJ, followed by Tom Petty to show some love for the musical boys of Gainesville. I kept catching myself hitting the gas a little harder than normal with every exit I passed, knowing I was that much closer to the new apartment. Driving down Newberry, some things brought back memories, while I noticed a bunch of changes, too. Finally, I crossed 13^th and University, just blocks away from the apartment.

It was surreal driving up to the real life version of what I’d looked at on the website about 80 billion times during the planning process. I used to pass the block where the apartments now are pretty often when I took the Greyhound from Tallahassee to visit Soo and Preston on weekends before I transferred. It looks almost nothing like it used to (and that’s not a bad thing). I pulled into the parking garage knowing my long ass drive was finally over and I was finally home. I got everything upstairs and unpacked way quicker than I’d expected and had some time to run to Butler Plaza (like the old days!!) to pick up food (from Publix!!!) and house stuff I was waiting to buy till I got here. I called my original 2 Gator friends and made them guess where I was and had these little nostalgia moments via phone, cause it seemed like it should be as exciting for them that I was here as it was for me. (Totally not the case from the sarcastic-turned-to-genuine response I got from one of them haha)

Today was day 1 of hopefully a lot working in academic advising. Ok, I didn’t really do anything today. I was shown my office (yes, MY office!), checked my computer access, met a ton of people, and did about an hour of observation, but still. Most of my day involved transfer info, which ironically is the one area I could likely train someone else (thanks to my impulsive and indecisive nature). I’m a little too excited to go back tomorrow and get started on my training, but that’s just a sign that you’re doing what you’re supposed to, right? Between move in day, starting the assistantship, and just generally being back in Gainesville, I've never felt more sure about a decision I'd made than I do about choosing this program.

There has been so much more I’ve wanted to write, but to put it all in one blog post would bore the crap out of anyone reading it and likely be a little overwhelming at the same time. More will definitely be posted and soon. I may need to update the title to Week of Perpetual Christmas Morning Feeling…
So. Freaking. Excited.

it's the end of an era

After 5 years of debate, procrastination, and planning, tomorrow, before the dawn, I leave for grad school. I spent the day loading the Jeep with the stuff I’d spent the past month or so packing. My rule was that if I couldn’t fit it in the Jeep, it didn’t need to go. Needless to say, every square inch of the Jeep is loaded with stuff. Literally. Glove box. Console. Under the seats. There’s even rolled up hoodies and some flat stuff surrounding the spare tire. The only space I left is so I can still see out the windows at least a little bit.

I’ve spent the past week and a half meeting up with my Raleigh friends to hang out and say goodbye. Some I hadn’t seen for a while. Others I saw on a regular basis. Goodbyes always suck regardless. In my mind, I’d always thought of NC as a temporary stop and never really thought of it as home. Florida was home. Manhattan felt more like home #2 while I was there, partially because my family is from NY, but also partially because it felt like a natural fit. I’ll be honest- I don’t think I really gave NC a fair shot.

Despite all that, as I’ve been finishing my time living here, I realized just how much I actually enjoyed it. I learned hockey here. I had seasons here. Most importantly, I’ve met a bunch of awesome people here, several of whom are still gonna be stuck with me as a friend for a while. I have a tendency to not realize how people have impacted my life until I’m moving on to my next big adventure, and the same was true here.

After we all went our separate ways following my going away dinner last night, it hit me that after I leave, things won’t be the same whenever I come back. My life mentee and one of my oldest Raleigh friends will be heading to grad school, locations tbd, but with more options out of Raleigh than in. Some friends are as nomadic as I am, and considering moves around that time as well. One of the other Raleigh friends I’ve known the longest left the state about a month ahead of me for Texas.

I’ve definitely learned some interesting life lessons in my NC limbo experience. A lot of what not to do both job and life-wise, but hey, that’s how you figure life out. It may have had its rough patches along the way, but there are definitely a ton of good memories I’ll take with me. It’s been fun NC, but it’s time to move on.

The end of an era, for sure…

the new happily ever after

Warning: spoilers abound

I just got back from seeing Friends with Benefits. I enjoyed the movie, and came out of the theater a little more surprised than I thought I would. Not because the ending surprised me. Quite the opposite. In fact, the lack of surprise at the ending is what perplexed me most.

A friend and I had gotten movie passes through a LivingSocial deal with Fandango this summer, so I’d seen quite a few movies recently. FWB triggered an analysis that I believe has been brewing for a while in the back of my mind—the evolution of the romantic comedy.

It used to be that the boy next door eventually got the girl. The girl who was even forgotten by her own family got a birthday cake & wish come true when her popular high school crush waited for her outside a church.  The college acquaintances who annoyed the crap out of each other when they drove semi-cross-country together realized they were meant to be after about 10 years of chance encounters. In many scenarios, the guy and girl who started off as enemies for a variety of reasons end up falling for each other in the end. Not so much anymore…

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like times have changed. Ok, Pretty Woman had the rich guy and his pseudo-call girl fall in love, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s was a somewhat similar twist on the girl-next-door thing, but they were the exception. Lately, there’s been the drunken one night stand that resulted in a kid and a happily ever after. Or the guys that habitually attend weddings, creating false identities for the sole purpose of one night of anonymous sex not only both finding their happily ever afters, but also rescuing one girl from an ass of a fiancé in the process. Or various scenarios where a fake relationship is created to cover for an almost discovered lie to a current significant other, in which the fake relationship turns out to be the better one. Most recently, there was a more complicated one where best friend A secretly cheated with best friend B’s fiancé, while best friend B was secretly cheating with her fiance’s best friend. Somehow all that cheating led to two happily ever afters and no real hard feelings, while a perfectly awesome single guy who was in love with best friend A (and available) all along remains single at the end of the film. Which brings me back to FWB and the booty call turning into a fairy tale relationship.

I’m not against these movies. In fact, Pretty Woman, Knocked Up & Wedding Crashers are 3 movies I own and love. I get that times have changed. I don’t think I’m terribly cynical (more of a realistic, logical girl), but I am a bit skeptical about the classic boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after thing. It’s too simple. In the real world, it doesn’t just happen that way. There’s more to it.

Maybe these movies are taking a more realistic turn, in a way. The unlikely possibility of the traditional plot-- guy meets girl, they face a minor conflict, then reunite where the guy has an emotional heart-to-heart with said girl, resulting in resolution and a kiss in a random public location-- taking place in real life was even discussed in FWB. Hell, The Break-Up was refreshing in a way, with the couple actually parting ways at the end of the film like would have happened in real life, even though it left the audience feeling like we were lacking closure without the fairy tale ending we're so used to. Since we tend to base our expectations (or at least hopes) on what we see in movies and tv (also brought up in FWB), it makes sense that they would be evolving to more closely match what actually goes on in real life to some degree, and not some glorified ideal that is harder for the general public to relate to.

I get that casual sex is becoming a more accepted, almost expected part of life, and therefore, potentially the start to more real life relationships. I just found it kind of funny that the lesson I’ve taken from the movies I’ve seen lately is that if you create an intricate false life, cheat, or find a one-night stand or friend with benefits, you up your chances at finding your happily ever after.