thinking outside the comfort zone

I’m a self-proclaimed city girl. Outside the humidity & heat of a Florida beach, I feel most at home on the crowded streets of midtown Manhattan. I lean toward the liberal side, though I am a firm believer in keeping an open mind and respecting the beliefs of others. I’ve never been a huge fan of country music (though I have a serious soft spot for bluegrass. Go figure.).

This weekend, I stepped outside my comfort zone to visit one of my closest friends in the mountains of Virginia. I swam in a lake at night where I could see fish in the day. I was surrounded by a constant stream of music played by a large group of genuinely talented musicians. I drank from a mason jar. I listened to country music and actually kinda liked it. I gained three new pseudo-family members. I had a great weekend.

It was great to disconnect from technology and social media and reconnect with a close friend I haven’t gotten to hang out with as much since we moved to different states. All thoughts of things that need to be done, trips that need to be planned, and financial and time concerns got left behind in Raleigh as my life mentee and I headed to a stress and drama free weekend. The lake and the people that came with it were amazing.

Any concerns I had of not blending in being “north” and all were completely gone the second we stepped into the house and were greeted by our adopted SML mom and whisked away to go night swimming with a new batch of friends. A wide variety of ages and personalities were represented throughout the weekend, but everyone was so accepting and friendly, the only (minor) disagreements came over sports teams. And even those were mostly teasing. The love and sense of family was so intense it was obvious even to those of us experiencing a SML band jam for the first time.

I realized as I was driving home that despite the many differences, it reminded me a lot of my Long Island Italian family. There are often a bunch of us around, some of us blood related, some not. There is always enough food for the group and then some, just typically pasta and desserts instead of grilling out. There is often sitting around for hours, not necessarily doing anything that costs money or is particularly organized, but rather just enjoying each other's company. And there is always room in the family for more "cousins" no matter where you're from. The lines blur between friends and family.

Words cannot accurately express the effect this trip had. I may have spent the weekend doing things somewhat out of the ordinary for me and trying new things, but thanks to my adopted SML fam, I felt right at home :) 

fresh start

This fall, I’m moving back to my home state of Florida to return to my alma mater for grad school. While I wouldn’t trade my experiences since I left in 2006 for anything, I’m excited for a fresh start when I go back in August. Some friends have been encouraging me to start a blog documenting the deliberated spontaneity that is my life, but a little life realization today finally gave me the inspiration I needed to get it started.

Quick flashback so my epiphany makes sense… About 2 years ago, I watched Food, Inc. and read Fast Food Nation and several Michael Pollan books, a combination that led me to change how I ate pretty drastically. I have almost completely eliminated eating fast food and processed packaged foods, eat red meat even less often than before (and now only eat it when I know it is local, hormone-free, vegetarian-diet, etc.), and avoid dairy products that aren’t hormone-free as much as possible. The more I’ve stuck to this new way of eating, the better I’ve felt. I could talk for days on this and related topics, but saving that for another entry. …and back on topic…

Recent events in my social life had me questioning if I had let my judgment slip regarding how and with whom I spend my time, and today, I had a bit of an existential epiphany as I walked through Whole Foods picking up tofu, organic baby greens, hormone-free cheese and my favorite Tazo tea (Brambleberry. Highly recommended for fans of the dark herbal flavor of chai and tartness of blackberries). I realized a parallel between my friendships and food. (and yes, I have a knack for relating almost anything back to food, but stay with me here.) I realized that to have a true—organic, if you will—friendship, you have to remove anything artificial that goes into it. No unnatural sweetener to make the bitter, raw, unrefined parts more tolerable. No preservatives like passive-aggressive avoidance of conflict to make it last longer than it should on its own accord. No additives like showy gifts or clique-y behavior to make the friendship seem bigger or more appealing than it is.

All of these things were relevant to my recent social musings and made me realize that I’m starting fresh not just in Florida, but in NC as well, and with this fresh start, I’m following the same rules I do with food. I’m going back to sticking with natural friendships where I don’t have to worry about needing the fake stuff to keep things from going bad. I’m investing more in quality than quantity. Just like food, I’m choosing the friends that are better for me in the long run over the artificial ones that seem appealing at first glance, but will likely end up harming you in some way down the road. Thanks, Whole Foods, for this totally unexpected life lesson.